estoy nervioso.
spring break was pretty fun when i wasn't in california. i don't really know why i wanted to come back here. back to complacency, playing ps3 and sleeping in until noon. pretending to play music. family who can't pull themselves up, ones who feel stuck. i do like the warmth, the sense of family when family is being family. not when family is watching tv, sleeping and giving in, sitting on the couch and choosing isolation over community. i liked putting up the fence, feeling like i was doing something worth doing, something i know i could see to the end. i liked hammering, pulling up the planks, feeling like i was worth a damn. for two years i've felt useless. you know you're in bad shape when you look forward to manual labor.

i didn't like getting a "to close" ticket. not even a damn speeding ticket. and why do all cops who ride motorcycles have to look like the stereotypical cop, like the terminator's nemesis? the kind who won't take off his helmet or his silver glasses so that you can look at his face and hate him forever. what kind of a job is that? everytime you come into contact with someone, you ruin his day. i would hate that kind of work. i won't even go into detail about the ticket and how i got it. it's not worth remembering.

some kids got their cahsee scores. olivia and rocio get to graduate. the others wait in suspense. i'm waiting on my cset scores.

funny how we let little pieces of paper determine a portion of our lives.

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