alone again, naturally.

i don't think it's really sunk in until recently, but now that meagan's left for seattle, it's written all over. i'm really 1) unemployed 2) living with my parents. and to top if all off, i was served with jury duty yesterday. what the fuck, state of california? could you choose a worse time?

i really don't know where to begin as far as this blog entry is concerned. i feel like a category 5 shitstorm has just hit me. i know it's really not that bad, that i just need to adapt. but meagan and i haven't been apart for more than a couple of weeks. 3 weeks is the longest, i think, when i went to louisiana. dark and difficult times lie ahead, harry.

a few days ago we went and visited my friend dong and his girlfriend jean at dong's parents' house. dong said that he never takes jean anywhere in sacramento. "we come here, and that's it" he said. i remember having that feeling that i was "above" this town. there really is nothing to do here, except shop. i was reading through an old adbusters issue that talked about how our society has purposefully made us feel bored any time we're not shopping or getting mindfucked by the media. it's completely true. but now i feel bored all the time, and ill whenever i end up buying something. fucking adbusters.

the best i can hope for now is a state job. how fucked is that? what else is an english major who can't teach gonna do? i just want to save money, plan my next escape. hopefully next time, it's permanent.

my parents scare me. they worked hard, and they love their tv. we do occasionally sit around and talk about important things, but for the most part, the tv steals the show. i wish that we would get rid of all of them and find out how else we might be able to entertain ourselves.

i'm thinking about spending my time working in the backyard. i want to learn how to start a garden. i'm going to remove all the rocks. i'm hoping it will be therapeutic.

that's it for now. i probably shouldn't blog again until i actually have something going on in life. we'll see.

1 comment:

ultrafknbd said...

Autumn is 'round the corner and its cool mornings and warm sunsets make for opportune bike rides and kayak paddles. We'll have to figure out some time to get together.

By the way, that's my deleted comment - it contained poor punctuation. Sadly, I couldn't leave it.