this evening i'm waiting for meagan's arrival. i don't really know when she's coming in, so i've just started cooking rice for her anyway. it's almost 8:30. i've been reading teachers have it easy: the big sacrifices and small salaries of america's teachers, and i have to admit, i felt pretty guilty when someone wrote, "many young teachers look at teaching as a two to three year stint, similar to the peace corps, knowing that they can't actually make a living from their earnings." or something along those lines. but, yeah, that's me. i'm just being realistic. i know what i'm about to go into tomorrow will most likely be one of the most difficult things i can go into, and from a practical point of view, i have this recurring thought that there's no fucking way i can do it forever. i don't know what it is. i'd like to have a house, a family, and good health insurance one day. i don't want to have to borrow from my parents forever or have them co-sign a loan. i guess that makes me a sucker, a hackney sell-out.

whatever. i just have to go in tomorrow and see where it takes me.

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