did you love this world, and did this world not love you?

i was going to make a list of all the things i've accomplished since i've been unemployed, but i decided it was too boring. people want to read something of value, but i'm afraid that hours spent beating heavenly sword on the ps3 in one night doesn't quite make for an interesting read. i'll talk about my klean kanteen, instead. i started drinking large quantities of water in early 2006, after i was diagnosed with prostatitis. for those of you who don't know what that it is, it's a prostate infection, and doesn't make for a very pleasant "sexy time." i won't go into detail about the horrors that it causes, but if you're really curious, you can look it up. anyway, i started drinking gigantic, whale-sized (i'm going with these weak animal descriptions lately, in case you couldn't tell) amounts of water from the american red cross' volunteer office's water dispenser. (is that what they're called?) anyway, i've drunk pretty much nothing but water ever since the diagnosis, which, apparently, is a good thing. i never really drank water as a kid, and it surprises me that i'm still able to function today, what with the large doses of pepsi, sprite, tang, kool-aid, and capri sun i once poisoned myself with. so i'd fill up my red cross nalgene religiously, and consequently, would have to use the bathroom every twenty minutes. i also learned, through online research, that it's not helpful to "chug" the water. instead, you're supposed to take frequent sips, so that your body can properly process (?) the water's nutrients. chugging only makes the water pass right through your system, leaving your body with nothing.

when i got hit with prostatitis again in october 2006, i freaked out again, as usual, and did more online investigating. somewhere i read that nalgenes weren't very good for you. the plastic inside the bottle erodes, and can eventually cause some health problems. the hippies'/environmentalists'/health experts' answer? the klean kanteen. my only beef with it is that it costs $17.95 for a 27 oz. bottle, and it's only available at co-ops, or through the online store. it's stainless steel, and seems virtually indestructible, minus the three or four dents it's earned, due to my negligence. but it also fits perfectly with my bike, and makes a lot of people think you're always carrying alcohol with you. students always asked, "what are you drinking?" or "what is that?" on days when i tried to be funny, i'd say it was vodka. but usually, i am a serious person, and i say, "it's only water."

like a crazy person, i take my klean kanteen everywhere. i've developed the habit of staying hydrated, so it comes along wherever i go. rachel, meagan's roommate, once laughed at how obsessive i had become over it. i panic whenever i misplace it because i don't want to have to shell out another $20 for one. "did i leave my water bottle at your place?" "yeah, it's here," (insert the following friend/relative's name here).

what else is there to say about it? nothing i can think of. not now anyway.

2 comments:

Richard said...

Just don't drink water to win a contest that could lead to death.

grachan moncur said...

Go ahead and make a list of all the things you've accomplished since you've been unemployed. We want to read about it. In fact, we demand it.