gentle girls.

tres bizarre dream last night. one where melissa joan hart, jamie lee curtis, and amanda bynes start this rock band. or at least people who look like them. they tour the country, and they're a folk/punk trio. i realize it's not real, but i write a concert review for them on pitchfork anyway, but i know that i'm dreaming. but still, even though it's a phony, i think it has a chance of getting published, so i think i'm awake, and i begin writing the review, based on the review that i've already dreamed up on my computer screen. i try to take a few notes, but i'm kind of waking up. i say to myself, "i'm not that asleep. this could be real," and i think that i can just copy and paste this fake review that i'm half asleep, dreaming about. it doesn't work. anyway, all of a sudden, this concert, which i've already written about, somehow becomes a reality, and gathers a large group of people. so i'm at the concert, near the front row, and there's no band. instead, everything transforms into a scene from our lady of fatima. a powerful voice thunders overhead, and says, "kneel, and wish for whatever you please." i'm skeptical, and can't think of anything i really want, so i think, i'd like a new set of teeth because i'm tired of having these two brackets at the back of my mouth. it's a wasteful wish, i know, but remember, i'm going under the assumption that it won't come true. a minute or so passed, and all of a sudden, my teeth are all loose, and i begin pulling them out, one by one, including the back teeth with the brackets. i look behind me, and there are cars, jewelry, gold, riches, and decadent food flooding the aisles. all the bald men now have hair. everyone's laughing, crying, hugging each other. then everyone, including myself, kneels again and begins praying. a man yells, "this is the lord! he's granted us everything we wished for! he's the messiah!" and as soon as he yells that, everything is gone, back to the way it was. i tongue the brackets at the back of my mouth. the voice thunders again: "i've let you glimpse the way things could be. so why are you doing nothing to fulfill your dreams?" the crowd begins to weep, for the day of reckoning is upon us.

i won't analyze that too much. i think it speaks for itself.

i sat in the hospital for the uc davis med center yesterday, waiting for rich, who had "tweaked" his ankle. not a sprain, not a fracture. "tweaked." but he still got x-rayed, and got crutches, which my doctor didn't think to get for me when i completely sprained my ankle a few years back. foolish health care system. it really was talking about hard times at the hospital, as this one overweight woman kept falling asleep in her chair, spilling her neon green liquid (limeaid, perhaps) all over the floor in front of her. it was just a little spill at first, then she'd wake and say, "what the fuck is wrong with me?" when she spilled the second time, i went to the restroom to get her some paper towels. she mumbled a thank you and mentioned something about her sore arm. she fell asleep a third time, and down came the whole cup. i notified a security guard to call a janitor to clean up the mess. he did. the embarrassed sleepy woman told the janitor that there was a hole in the bottom of the cup, and that's why she spilled all of it. as she walked away, i asked rich, "why did she have to lie about it?" "i don't know," he said, "i guess she just didn't want anyone to know she was falling asleep."

an overweight man dropped some change by the snack machine. he bent over to pick up his nickel, but couldn't do it. he was too big. a pitiful sight. i almost got up, but the janitor was closer. he helped him. a young black woman kept crying. the old woman sitting in our row looked defeated, like she or her husband had something serious. a young latina hipster who looked like this girl julia i once had in nonfiction writing, told her aunts what was going on. i wanted to know why they were there. they had two loud boys with them, who walked circles around the chairs, one of them staring at me every time he got close.

another mexican boy and girl looked at the fish. i wanted to say, "como se dice fish en espanol?" but i didn't. it felt kind of pointless. the excited children counterbalance the elders' dejected spirits. isn't that the way it's always been?

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