after all, in moments of quiet,
i'm strangely drawn toward you.

i watched a little bit of 13 going on 30 on the fx channel tonight. i never knew this, but i don't really like jennifer garner. i thought the most interesting part was when they were actually 13, and the little fat nerd boy, matt, made her a model house. and then he was going to play his casio keyboard for her party. but then she brushed him off, got rejected by the cool kids, wished she was "thirty, flirty, and thriving," and the movie was over.

we finally got a fire started here at home. apparently, a fire-starter is useful when you're using old, shitty wood.

we watched bringing up baby. i liked how crazy katherine hepburn was. especially the way she acted when she tried to get them all out of prison. the movie made me want katherine hepburn circa 1938 to be my best friend. there's also a great part where cary grant is wearing her bathrobe, and he has to answer the door. since he's unable to explain the predicament he's in, he jumps up and says, "because I just went gay all of a sudden!"

at work today, i graded 144 books in the morning, and then 230-something after lunch. i overheard that there were over 700,000 books total. fresh recruits will be coming in on monday. i've realized that work is only good for making you appreciate the time you have off. nothing beats those last five minutes on the clock. nothing.

i caught maybe ten seconds of a ufc fight on channel 4. i really didn't get it. i don't get boxing, either. i wish more people would die in fights. in football, too. then i'd watch.

one time, in fifth grade, i was having a mini-debate (not really an argument, not intellectual enough to be a real debate) with this girl named sarah shakle. or maybe it was shakel, i can't remember. anyway, she was giving me some sort of quick-witted response, and i was completely following, and listening, when all of a sudden, ryan mcguiness, this little redheaded trouble maker, interrupted. "shut up, sarah. you're fat." it was so mean and unexpected that it was funny. i don't think i was insensitive enough at the time, though, to laugh. i don't really remember sarah's reaction, either. i think she turned red, maybe smiled a little, and then kept quiet.

years later, though, our high school ethics teacher, mr. andre, taught us a lesson in the most entertaining way possible (damn, that's a lot of commas). he made us list all the different words and phrases we could think of for things of a sexual nature, i.e. "pussy, cunt, slit" for "vagina." as we were listing off different words for "penis," mr. andre started chuckling to himself. "what? what's so funny?" we wanted to know. "alright. alright. quiet down. now you can't tell anyone else about this. if i tell you, you can't go spreading it around." we swore we wouldn't tell. "in third period," he began, chuckling, "tony whittaker's suggestion for 'penis' was 'ryan mcguiness' toothbrush.'" at this point he started cracking up. mr. andre. what an awesome teacher.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hah. i remember that class. my contributions were "moan bone" and "womb broom"