why can't they build a school here?

a message, complimented with a firm grabbing of the collar, and a violent shake:

"is this how you want to remembered? imagine you die tomorrow. with the junk you eat, all the exercise you don't get, and all the chemicals you've unwittingly poisoned yourself with, the chances are probably much greater than you'd like to think. what will you (i) leave behind, save for a collection of useless things we've collected over the years to avoid, distract ourselves from asking the ultimate, the inevitable: why haven't you pursued that which you love with everything you've got? have you ever had to struggle? have you ever really gone after that (and by that, i'm not talking about something you can pick up at the mall) idea, person, thing that's supposed to get you out of bed? that's supposed to get your heart beating, your brain functioning at a level that it's supposed to? have you ever felt challenged? or did you just do what was required? does anything mean anything to you, at all?"

i drove back home with my headlights illuminating the black road scattered with dead leaves while listening to "your hand in mine." kevin complained earlier that the guy who sits across from him groans a lot, mumbles "shit," and shakes the desk. he finds this annoying.

during break, i sat in my car and watched a low and full orange moon while listening to john fahey and terry robb's christmas album, vol. 2. tomorrow, i think i'll brave the cold and read some raymond carver. if someone approaches me and starts up a conversation about raymond carver, i'll definitely have a friend for life.

two team leaders argued for a solid five minutes about whether or not "jr." could be used as a subject. "i'm not saying you're wrong..." team leader one began. "oh, but i could be," team leader two interjected. "i just don't want to walk all the way down there and ask about it." and blah, blah, blah. you're both hopeless.

yesterday, randy called team leader one "harry potter," and himself he called "superman." "more like clark kent," team leader one mumbled, attempting a comeback. a pitiful display.

what does it mean to be temporary? what's the greater picture behind all the meaningless jobs and dissatisfied workers around us?

when is it all gonna break.


ms.meggie said...

where does that quotation come from?

Talking about Hard Times said...

which one? the title comes from the documentary, "the boys of baraka;" the last line comes from the last song of broken social scene's self-titled record; and everything in the middle was more or less all me.