you know god loves
the sensitive ones.

i spent spanksgiving (yes, i am in seventh grade still) cutting up wood to make a fire. it took several hours for us to get it started, since the wood was mostly rotting crap i found behind our house. as i was sawing, i repeated borat's "grip, pull; grip, pull," and thought that i might enjoy a summer, or maybe more, on a farm. somewhere stylish, though. i'm not talking lodi or rio linda here.

my mom warmed up thanksgiving dinner around noon. she didn't want to cook, and i don't blame her, so all our stuff came prepackaged from raley's. she mentioned that raley's workers make $20 an hour. i briefly entertained this image of me bagging groceries. but i don't really want to learn what goes in what bag, and what has to be separated. i'd probably get flustered and walk out.

oh, i forgot to add that my dad finally got the fire started by dousing lighter fluid all over the wood. he had this other bizarre idea to light a candle under one of the branches, and also to put a plateful of coal at the bottom. i've never had luck starting fires. every time i try and try and subsequently fail at starting a fire, i wonder about all the houses in history that have burned down, and i find myself asking, how the hell did that happen? or i think about a man making a fire out of two sticks, and i think, there's no fucking way. i'm sure it's an amusing sight for others, though, to see me sitting by a fireplace, crumpling up balls of black friday ads, and stuffing them underneath parts of a rotting fence.

today, my parents and i watched party girl, starring parker posey, and joyeux noel, a french movie about world war I soldiers who declared a ceasefire on christmas eve. both were great in their own way. i was surprised, though, that my dad sat through all of party girl, since it has such an early 90's feel to it. but parker posey is transgenerational.

let's see. in the shower (where all my blog ideas come from) i remembered a day in fifth grade after skate night. for those of you unfamiliar with the term, skate night was a night that king's skate, the local rollerskating/ice skating rink (off bradshaw) would cater to only st. ignatius students. i went every now and then, but i never skated. i'd hang out with my friends and play rampage at the arcade. and then, at some point during the night, the lights would dim, the disco ball would spin, and kids would know it was time to "couple skate." actually, i think the dj actually had to announce it. "it's couple skating time," she would announce, making all the losers feel bad for sitting this one out. since i never bothered checking out a pair of rollerskates, nevermind talking to a girl, i didn't participate. i just used it as an opportunity to feel what most self-pitying alcoholics and fifty-year-old divorcees endure on a daily basis.

anyhow, fifth grade was about the time that people took "couple skating" seriously. i even remember my friend elliott - or maybe it was robert - couple skating with some random floosie. i couldn't be happy for them. i could only feel like something was wrong with me. anyway, the following day, michael troughton reported to our teacher, miss edwards, who had skated with whom. (did i use those correctly?) miss edwards was surprised at the names he was dropping. ryan with noelle. mike with alicia. robert and kathleen. so-and-so with so-and-so. the list goes on. and everytime, miss edwards looked shocked. "wow, she said. even james was out there?" "well, no. not james." and then they both looked at me.

but i got my revenge. a dozen or so years later, i did couple skate. at this place on the outskirts of seattle. and semisonic's song "singing in my sleep" came on. so the joke's on them.


claire said...

i loved joyeux noel so much. i took my grandma to it, and even she loved that film (her normal fare is more on the lifetime movie spectrum.)

i never did couple skate. not even a revenge grown up couple skate.

Richard said...

I once couple skated with two girls one on each arm. "PLAYA" Lets go to King Skate Saturday night and find some girls to couple skate with...Oh wait they might be really that bad... we might get addicted never mind.

Anonymous said...

I couple skated once, I was a 10 year old girl madly in love with a boy that I have been terrorizing
(in the sense that all my friends badgered the hell out of him with notes of "do you like tanya? circle yes or no" and when we stood together in line- why were we always in a line at school?- my trusty girls would sing, Tanya and Corey sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.... ) for the whole school year.
But once we saw eachother at the local rink "aptly" named....
Chez Vous.
I was so happy that I had worn my new stone-washed jeans.

They dimmed the lights (to allow the shame filled lonely losers to slink away in the darkness?) and he walked right up to me and asked if I wanted to skate! I was on cloud 7 ( I don't think I was old enough for cloud 9 least that's what my mother said) We held hands and skated to "Make it last forever" by Keith Sweat. The following monday, after writing my new married name in my notebook for a few pages, I finally got the nerve to talk to him ( of course I never talked to him, even when we skated, I think that after it was over I mumbled a "thank you" and ran over to my mother to keep her from coming to us) and he told me that he did not like me.......

Why couldn't he have just circled "no"?

Talking about Hard Times said...

that was an awesome story. i'm sorry it took me so long to finally read it. who are you, tanya?