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what is the sci-fi channel trying to say when they air a twilight zone marathon every new year's? that this is crazy, that this is getting out of control? 2008. jesus. but then again, i say that every year. remember when we said, i can't believe it's the year 2000! and everyone was afraid of y2k. look at all the things you would've missed out on, had computers really shut down for good: myspace, youtube, wikipedia. yes, everything on the internet is useless. computers were supposed to help us get smarter, and they were supposed to solve our problems. but they did the opposite, obviously. we got dumber, and we used computers as a way to communicate our problems on a much larger scale: yahoo messenger, aim messenger, american idol chat, blogs, online checkers.

although, i did get addicted to online checkers at one point. it's really fun when you're losing, and you just don't make a move for a really long time. maybe never. sometimes, the other person will try to out-wait you, or else he'll just leave. when you're stuck and there's no chance of winning, you just minimize the game, and go about your everyday business. sore loser to the tenth degree. but then again, you can't really lose if you don't move.

after new year's, i always wrote down the wrong year when i got back to school. in the upper right-hand corner, i'd write the previous year, forgetting that it had changed. once, i think, i was even two years behind. and the worst part was, this took place in college. yes, the year was 2005, i think, and i'm pretty sure i typed 2003 on at least more than one paper. it still feels like 2003. where's our goddamn flying cars and x-men mutants roaming the streets? i remember the 2009 series comic books, and i thought, wow, that's a really long time away. things will be cool then, i thought.

i knew i was older when i was in college and i went to go tutor some kids at bailey gatzert elementary. they were all about captain underpants, and all i could think was, what the hell is captain underpants. and some kid said, you don't know captain underpants? and i said, no, i don't know captain underpants. he laughed. and then they talked about spongebob squarepants. i couldn't believe all my nickelodeon shows were being replaced. i thought they'd air doug, are you afraid of the dark?, rocko's modern life and clarissa explains it all forever. they should, at any rate. so i tried to watch spongebob squarepants. i had no idea what the hell was going on. he was a yellow sponge that lived underwater, and he had a fat starfish friend. i just couldn't get over the fact that their main character was a yellow sponge. "you like this?" i asked my then four-year-old cousin. "yeah," he said.

okay, i can't really talk, since i was still watching talking babies (rugrats) in sixth grade. okay, maybe a little bit of seventh, too. but come on, there were moral dilemmas and whatnot. angelica represented pure evil. tommy was fearless and bold, and chucky had to learn to man up. phil and lil were bizarre twins with new wave haircuts. and mark mothersbaugh of devo fame provided the music.

i'm seriously defending my watching rugrats on a sunday night in my parents' house in sacramento.

see, y2k wouldn't have been so bad after all.

1 comment:

Rigby said...

Ugh.
Are you afraid of the dark scared me to death although they played it recently, in october sometime and I realized how not scary it really is...
Clarissa explains it all completely solved all my problems at that age.
You forgot Aah Real Monsters, though.
Anyway... I hate spongebob.