a dark day.

there was this black kid from seattle u i once knew. i think his name was david, and he was a grade below me. david was the president of the democratic students club on campus. i don't know why i knew him. i wasn't a part of the seattle u democrats or anything. i had history class with him, and he said some pretty insightful stuff. being in a small group with him, talking about history, i felt like i could finally learn something from a history class. dr. hanh's class. shit, now i'm remembering something completely different. i remember when i wrote my final paper for the class, dr. hanh (hahn?) completely attacked me because i had written something like, "we read a lot of fiction for a history class," and i wasn't even trying to be malicious. she got really upset, though, and wrote me a scathing email about how she pretty much felt like i was undermining her class, no, her entire teaching credibility with the three page essay i had written.

i was shocked. so shocked that i had to reply right away. afraid that she would fail me, send my quarter's worth of work down the drain, i told her that i actually liked her class. and, as an english major, i actually felt that reading fiction was a great way of understanding different political climates, etc. at the time i felt i was being sincere. now, in hindsight and disillusioned with my entire educational experience, i feel as though i would've risked anything, said anything, to avoid failure. she responded promptly and briefly. something to the effect of, "oh. sorry i misunderstood what you had written. it's been a crazy day." it was the same day the u.s. declared war on iraq. the same day i had bought a green army t-shirt from the teen challenge thrift store. the same day the stupid kids working at the stupid taco bell were laughing, making jokes. i made my own: "man, should they be joking around in there? there's a fucking war going on." i was mimicking seann william scott's character in old school: "man, there's a fucking dart in your neck." i thought i was funnier than those kids working at taco bell.

anyway, about david. the day bush got reelected in 2004, i walked with david down the crosswalk that connects the murphy apartments to campus. we were just shooting the shit. he seemed kind of down. i knew what was bugging him. there were clouds above us, and i said, "it's a dark day." he knew i wasn't talking about the clouds. seattle's always fucking dark. "a dark day, indeed," he said, and we parted ways.

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