rich soil in its place.


today, i woke up around 9 and i turned off the hose in the front yard. i left the hose on "drip" mode all night, as smud had suggested i do, if i want my trees to live. the backyard tree flooded again, and i'm pretty sure it's going to die. both the backyard trees look terrible, like droopy replicas of charlie brown's christmas tree. the leaves have completely wilted, and the stakes look in better shape than they do.

after nine months, i finally turned over the compost heap. now the big lump of trash sits against the fence. i was surprised at how the base, originally clumps of wet newspaper, had completely dissolved and left dark, rich soil in its place. the compost heap didn't stink at all (or maybe i have grown accustomed to its smell), and i wasn't disgusted shoveling heaps of it into the newly designated area. i think i could be a farmer. i'd grow tomatoes and watermelons, and i'd sell them on the street corner while i played guitar. that's how people would know me. "there goes the traveling farmer without any know-how, who also happens to be a busker."

i was going through old journals (i'm actually typing them onto the computer, since they are falling apart) and i found an entry where i came across a bunch of notes i had taken about my classmates in my expressive writing class. i found sean reid's name. he said that he didn't know what he was going to do after graduation, but that he wanted to return to ireland or new york, possibly to live. towards the end of the year, he stopped showing up to class because a malignant tumor had formed on his heart, and he passed away that summer. i didn't really know him or anything about him, other than that he used fry's (the main character on futurama) as his avatar on livejournal, and that he had once appeared on the conan o'brian show after conan recognized him in the audience as a "younger version of himself." the last few times he showed up in class, his head was shaved, and he looked skinny and pale. i thought that we would be asked to shave our heads, too, because i heard that happens in other schools when someone has cancer, but no one had thought of it.

i don't know what else to say about that. tonight, i will attend my cousin's eighth grade graduation. lucky her. she'll be off to st. francis high school, and then onto college. she will figure things out.

as for me, i still don't know what my plans after graduation are.

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