there it goes, slips away.


the hornets lost today. i was kind of expecting them to. "don't get your hopes up," my cousin warned. "that always happens in the nba. the underdog team plays strong, but in the end, they lose." because i now recognize this as true, i vow to never again watch the nba playoffs. that is, until next year, when golden state or the hornets or the kings or whatever unlikely team again makes the playoffs only to lose to another boring team like the spurs or lakers. why do you keep falling for it? because you're stupid, that's why!

tonight, i biked home in the dark. "you're not biking home tonight," my aunt ordered. i told her i would be fine. after all, i had a light. it's weird how i still feel like a kid when someone tells me something like this. it makes me think about my chances of getting jumped, or else getting to an accident, thoughts i don't really want to have. when i worked at tower, my co-worker, keith, got jumped by a group of hoodlums. they stole his backpack and a bunch of cds he had on him. when i opened up his copy of mark kozelek's what's next to the moon? i saw that he had a burned copy in place of the original. "what happened to your cd?" i asked. "i got robbed," he said.

sometimes i get these petty criminals, and other times i don't. on one hand, i understand that suburban living and catholic school can be so dull that kids sometimes have to huff glue and drive 120 miles an hour to their deaths on the corner of arden and fulton. on the other hand, i don't get people jumping each other. if you really want to jack some cds, go to the record store. if you really want to steal money, hold up a bank. why rob some random person? he might have really crappy taste in music, and chances are, these days, he won't have more than a few dollars to his name.

i'm lucky enough to never have been robbed, beat up, or had my car broken into. i can't imagine how i might react. i can only assume that two things would happen. one, i would cower in fear and give the assailant anything he wanted. two, i would get an adrenaline rush and not care and beat this person to a bloody pulp. unfortunately, i think it would all just depend on how i might be feeling that day.

i've got nothing tonight. i'm not feeling it.

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