why so serious.

i have to start from scratch. i've forgotten how to do things. things normal people don't have trouble doing.

finding an apartment. traveling. updating your resume. meeting people. striking up a conversation with strangers. remembering birthdays. shaking hands with people who assume you know how to return their unique handshake, which is not quite a handshake, but a combination of slapping hands and then bumping each others' fists, or some variation on that. writing a personal statement. describing your skills and experience. looking genuinely interested in the midst of a conversation about nothing. reading a page and staying focused. updating a blog that makes sense. talking about something hopeful and significant. making plans for the future. keeping in touch with old friends and classmates. dressing up and going out for the night. participating in a critical mass. walking just for the sake of walking. learning to love and to be loved. hugging someone as though you're clinging on for dear life. going to church and believing that god will take care of the rest. wearing the right shoes and belt that match your pants. getting up at a decent hour. saying "hello" to people as they pass you by. not feeling like every person is out to take advantage of you. exercising twenty minutes a day, three days a week. clipping coupons and presenting them at the time of purchase. voting. getting five servings of fruits and vegetables per day. doing yoga. marking dates on the calendar. calling others instead of waiting to be called. feeling like a competent and capable human being. making a sincere effort to find what it is you're good at, what it is you truly enjoy. being a kind-hearted, decent individual.

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