how do you turn this on?


after weeks of deliberating, i finally broke down and bought a zune. it's like an ipod, but not as flashy. to justify making the purchase, i sold off every cd i had, and i even bought a used one off craigslist. i bought it from an old man who bought it refurbished off woot! so, i didn't feel like that much of a sell out. i'm already being punished for my purchase anyway, since the software is ridiculously slow. i started charging the zune and installing the software on my parents' computer around 3 o'clock. it is now almost8 o'clock, and it's almost finished. my cousin shook his head when he saw how slowly it took for the zune software to install. "i don't get it," he said. "microsoft made the zune, and you're installing the software on windows. you would think they would know how to make it go faster." i would think that.

the crappy thing about buying a zune, and buying any piece of new technology for that matter, is that you have to buy accessories and all the other crap just to make the one piece of crap keep going for as long as possible. it's not enough now that i have the zune. now i have to buy a protective case, otherwise it will scratch, and i won't be able to sell it on craigslist for much as i would like when i am completely tired of owning it. a new pair of headphones would be nice, too, since the small ones that come with it are extremely uncomfortable. that's how they get you.

the old man i purchased from was named greg, and he actually lives in rosemont, too, specifically on old placerville road, next to the old mcdonald's with its permanent "now hiring" sign painted on the windows. his duplex was unkempt, and he had two computer monitors running at the same time. the dead grass in his backyard was at knee-level, and his pots and pans were scattered about the kitchen. he was a fat white man with white hair and a white beard. he picked up the zune, and he couldn't get it to work. "now how does this work?" he asked. "i press the 'on' button, but it doesn't turn on. this is embarassing." he scratched at his beard. "how do you turn this on?"

i told him that my cousin owned one, and that he could probably turn it on himself. my cousin tried to turn it on, but it wouldn't go. "it's probably the battery," my cousin said. "it just needs to be charged." the old man charged the zune via his computer. "do you guys mind waiting a few minutes?" no, i actually like standing around in your dark, messy duplex. "sure," i said. my cousin noticed a box that had the word "woot!" on it. "do you shop at woot!" he asked. "yeah," the old man said. "i've been separated now for five years. ever since then, it's been gadget city for me!" another man might've sounded sad, or at least disappointed, at having to admit that he replaced his wife with technological gadgets. i know that i would have.

after a few minutes, i told him that i trusted him that the zune would work. "i'll just pay you for it," i said, "i'm sure it works." "okay," he said. he took my cash and handed me the device. "i wish everyone on craigslist was like you guys," he said. "unfortunately, though, that's not the case."

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