things we lost in the fire.


i wonder if it will hit me later. but since i've parted with all of my possessions except for a guitar, typewriter, stereo, dozens of lps, a bike, and clothes, i don't really feel anything. i thought i would've felt some sort of emptiness. people tend to hold things for nostalgic reasons, but so far, i have no remorse parting with anything i've sold or donated. i've always thought about what i'd miss most if everything i ever had burned to the ground. i think i wanted to be mentally prepared, and not care if the worst happened. during my stint at the red cross, i saw people really broken up when their shit was lost in a fire. i don't want to panic. if i panic, i will drown.

during our eighth grade retreat, or maybe it was just in class, our teacher asked us, "if there was a fire in your house, and you had the chance to grab just a few things, what would you take?" i don't remember what i said. i think i said that i would take my boombox or something. i felt pretty stupid when one of the girls answered, "i would take photo albums with me." oh yeah. photo albums. sentimentality. duh. but what's really important? pictures of moments that have already passed? family heirlooms? expensive technological equipment?

rojelio bought my desktop computer today for $80. he drove a really beat up white car, and seemed like he definitely had his fair share of hard times. his two buddies were in the car, too, but they did not get out. rojelio lives in galt, but works at a restaurant in lodi. i couldn't believe that he drove so far for an old hp pavilion for $80. he didn't even try the damn thing out. i could've just sold him a shell and a nonworking monitor. but he looked so destitute and grateful for what he was getting that i almost hoped his $50 was a fake.

tomorrow, denise from craigslist is going to bring my bicycle up to seattle in her truck. i asked her, "how much do you want for the favor?" she said, "i don't know." i said, "does forty dollars sound alright? or is that too low?" she said, "yeah! i mean, i know that's much cheaper than shipping..." and i said, "yeah, it's sixty dollars just to have the bike shop take it apart..." she jumped in and said, "yeah, and then you have to find a box...it's a real hassle." i said, "definitely."

3 comments:

ms.meggie said...

the way you tell it, you should have given the man your computer.

Tiffany said...

I know what you mean about thinking you will feel empty without all your stuff. I thought living out of two suitcases for a year of my life would be torture...especially coming from someone who can fill a house with all her things. But I can't wait to get home and start giving my shit away. And I can't wait until I can sort through all the shit I have collected in Chile this year and get rid of most of it.

Lizzie said...

since i moved to NYC i've been basically homeless and living out of two suitcases. I thought I'd miss my stuff while trying to figure out my housing situation, but 4 months later i can't even remember what is left behind...