blonde stripper who drank sparks.


"do i know you?" the waitress asked.
he looked like he was making an honest attempt to recognize her. "so many people have said that to me in the past week, so i don't know," he said.
she laughed. "no," she said, "i think we had a class together."
"did you go to s.u.?"
"yeah," she said. "i think i had some classes with you."
"what year did you graduate?"
"i should've graduated two years ago, but i graduated this year."
"oh," he said, "i graduated '06. were you an english major?"
"no," she said, "but i almost got a minor in english. i majored in philosophy," she said, and almost curtsied.
"oh okay, i was an english major," he said.
"that was probably it then. we probably had an english class together!" the girl smiled as she said this. she had been smiling the entire time.
"the girl here," he said, pointing to the empty chair in front of us, "she majored in philosophy."
"oh," the girl said, and nodded her head, accepting that she might meet another person she might have had class with. "did you both go to s.u.?"
"yeah," i said. "yeah," he said.
she took our order: two sundaes, one small, one large.

"did we have class together?" the waitress said to the girl.
"yeah. i was gonna say you look really familiar."
"did you live in xavier?"
"i did, but during my freshman year."
"did you live on the all girls floor?"
"yeah, but in bellarmine when i was a sophomore."
"what year did you graduate?"
"'05."
"oh," the waitress said, "i was supposed to graduate two years ago, but i just finished this year."
the waitress left to check on some other customers.

"she was probably hitting on you," i said.
"no she wasn't. and anyway, she's not that attractive."
"she's pretty," the girl said.
"yeah," i said, "plus, it's hard to tell. she's been at work all day. you have to take that into account."
"that should be a good thing," he said. "when she's all sweaty and hot and tired. that's how you can tell."
"i'm going to leave your number on the receipt."
"don't."
"i'm going to."
"i don't care."
"you should ask her what it's like now that's she's graduated," i said.
"i'm not gonna ask her," he said. "you ask her. i'll tell her you just graduated and that she should talk to you."
"yeah right. i'll tell her to do americorps. it'll change her life."

suddenly, a man walked into the restaurant. "dude, that's her boyfriend."
"no, it's not," i said.
"yes, it is," he said. "she just kissed him on the cheek."
"that doesn't mean that that's her boyfriend," the girl said.
"yes it does."
the waitress delivered the sundaes.
"i wanted to ask, what's your name?" the girl said.
"muriel," the waitress answered.
"oh yeah. that sounds familiar."
"did you take the bible as literature?" the boy asked.
"yeah!" muriel answered. "do you remember the blonde stripper who sat in the front row and drank sparks in class all the time?"
they both laughed.
"yeah," the boy said, "she drank alcohol right in front of everybody, and she didn't even care."

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