the career-driven asian.

at fort st. george last night, over spicy fried chicken and garlic fries, my friends and i overheard a career-driven asian discussing her plans. i didn't catch most of it, but for the most part, she ultimately came across as the anti-heroine of this blog. what i did catch, i found slightly amusing: "i decided i want to get my b.a. that way, if i want to relocate, i can find more opportunities..." stuff like that. she was a young asian woman who wore a dark business suit. "it felt like she was from the early 90's," meagan remarked, "all that was missing were shoulder pads."

who was this woman? i know that there are more like her. tons of them, i'm sure. they were the ones cramming for the s.a.t.'s while all their friends went out on friday nights to watch movies like fight club, american psycho, and american beauty. in debates, she was the girl who wouldn't know, or even care, what the hell these communist liberals were babbling about. these people live on a different plane of existence; they speak a foreign language. in their late teens, they could probably tell you the difference between an ira and a roth ira. maybe i'm just envious.

"why do you wish you were doing something?" a friend asked. "i don't know," i answered, "i just wish i was doing something meaningful." "like what?" "i'm not sure. i'd just like to feel like i'm contributing to something." "to get what result?" "i don't know." i can't say i want to help people because i don't know for sure that that's entirely true. to even just admit that on a literal level implies that i'm better off, and that i know how to fix their problems. but that's crap. because if i had solutions, if anyone had solutions, we wouldn't be in the state we are in. and it's 2008. two-thousand-fucking-eight, and the majority of people are still screwed.

"social justice is a crock of shit," this person told me. "how so?" i asked. "you can't enjoy anything! think about it. you just feel bad and guilty all the time. and there are all these people who would love to be in your place, if they could." "yeah." i don't remember much else, but if the conversation continued, it might've gone something like this: "and if you were in their position, do you think they'd want to help you? fuck no. even if you reversed where people stand in society; it doesn't matter who's on top - they'd still drink your milkshake. didn't you ever learn anything from the twilight zone? 'people are the same everywhere.'"

realist idealists. that's what we call ourselves, for the time being.


Tiffany said...

Helping people is a thinly veiled attempt to help ourselves. It makes people feel good to feel like they can help other people while they themselves are messes and don't know what the eff to do about it. Volunteering for me is all about I really want to help people, or do I just want to hang out in South America for a year? Umm, obvio. Social justice is just what I tell my parents so they don't cut me off for having a BA and not having the income to show for it.

EasilyEntertained said...

Totally concur. AND, I believe my exact words were, helping people makes you poor, then when you need help, you don't get any. Nice usage of "obvio" btw, I think I'm gonna use that.