call your mother and tell her you'll never be a lawyer.

today, we had a staff meeting, so our department could figure out what the other department (the one we share an office space with) actually does. two of the student advisers role-played a typical session with a student. what i got was that they basically do writing center work, minus having to read anything. it's all just about asking questions. "did you like your first year?" "what are you passionate about?" in truth, i could probably use one of these sessions myself. lately, though, i haven't been passionate about anything except for writing about how i'm not passionate about anything.

what i gathered from this role-playing session, though, is that most students here don't know what the hell they're doing. when asked why they chose to come to law school, most students say that they know lawyers, or that there are lawyers in their family. some students even cry at these adviser sessions, wondering why they're so behind, wondering if they'll ever get a job. i thought most of them had it figured out, but i guess a lot of them don't. i can't believe that this is what most of our lives are about: not knowing and just trying to push forward.

there's a whole bunch of crap in front of the columbia city plaza. all these pallets, signs, wood, and broken furniture were discarded outside their doors. the other night, i saw a mexican with a pickup truck sorting through the mess. "is all this free?" i asked him. "yeah," he said. i wished then that i had a truck, too, but i didn't. though my apartment was only a block away, i decided not to carry home the tv stand with its missing wheel. the top was all warped and bubbly. i tried to excavate a chair from the pile of rubbish, but i didn't have any luck. i just imagined all the wood tumbling down on me, rusted nails going through me. it wasn't worth it.

on the way home yesterday, the number nine was completely full. the driver informed us that the previous bus had gotten into an accident, so that's why everyone was crammed so tightly into this one. i stood the whole time, but didn't mind it so much. the glass castle has taught me that any time something sucks, all you have to say to yourself is, "this is an adventure," and all of a sudden, nothing is quite so bad anymore. the bus driver didn't seem to know any of his stops, though, which also made for an interesting ride. he'd say things like, "next stop is, uh, well...hmm. andover? andover! our next stop is andover."

then this car almost hit our bus. a woman near the front yelped. "don't worry, folks," the driver said, "if that was the closest call i had today, i'd be happy." this statement was meant to reassure us, but it obviously didn't come out that way. he blasted the air-conditioner, as if to compensate for the lack of space. no one seemed really put out, though. "it's not so bad," one woman told him. she had a seat near the front.

tomorrow is friday, and i like fridays. not because of the promise of a weekend, but because none of the students are around. i think i'd like to work in a place where no one is ever around.

1 comment:

Jacob Dempsey said...

my girlfriend told me I shouldn't read your blog anymore. That I come home from school looking depressed about life every time I read it. I told her I can't quit you.