he don't like it at all.


this past weekend, i was finally able to attend the thing they call the bumbershoot. it's an all day music festival that features art, comedy acts, $7 polish sausages, and a bunch of other crap. we missed the first couple of songs neko case did because the folks who run bumbershoot are a bunch of numbskulls. basically, there are stages set up everywhere, and then there is a mainstage - you know, the place that most people will go to, because the mainstage features the day's main attractions. the assholes who run bumbershoot decided to set up two security checkpoints - one just to get into bumbershoot, and the other just to get into the mainstage. yeah, it's confusing.

the other thing meagan and i didn't know about the mainstage is that people are supposed to get green tickets to see the evening's main performances. after hanging out at the seattle center, scarfing down polish sausages with sauerkraut, and greasy ass fries, we decided we wanted to get back to the mainstage so we could watch band of horses. the people at the first security checkpoint stopped us. "you can't get in unless you have a green ticket." "where do we get those?" "they're sold out." "well, how else can we get them?" "you could try waiting by the exits. usually people on their way out just throw them away."

i was pretty pissed. sold out? are you fucking kidding me? meagan asked the security guard, "what did we pay $40 for then?" to which the guard snootily replied, "to get into bumbershoot!" again, are you fucking kidding me? according to this guard's logic, we paid $40 a ticket not to see bands play, but to walk around the seattle center to buy overpriced junk food. oh, and there were some assholes juggling knives. i was determined to find the nearest information booth and get some answers. "so, you guys are sold out of green tickets, huh?" "yeah," replied a girl with red hair. "there's nothing we can do?" "you can try asking people for them." "how were we supposed to know about these tickets?" meagan asked. "it says on the tickets," the girl calmly replied. she was, in fact, referring to the size-four-fucking-font printed on the front of the tickets. but who buys tickets to a festival and actually reads the physical ticket? once you've gained admittance to your destination, you don't carefully inspect that which got you in.

assholes.

but no, we were the stupid ones. my ignorance made me first blame my friends ("why didn't someone like jacob or tiffany or emily, someone who's been to bumbershoot before, tell us about these stupid green tickets?" - yes, i will continually blame everyone else for every little problem i encounter, and this, i'm sure, will lead me to one of dante's circles in the inferno), then take up panhandling. with half an envelope, i created a sign: "need green tix." within minutes, a sad-looking young woman handed us her ticket. "oh my god," meagan said, "we love you." the woman walked away without saying anything. a little girl walked past me. "need green tix? what's 'tix?'" she asked. "tickets," i said. a fat man walked by and said he had one. "twenty bucks," he said. "i'm waiting for free ones," i told him. what an asshole this guy was, trying to make twenty bucks off something he got for free. fuck off.

i struck up a conversation with a man who had his family with him. "yeah, i missed out on the green tickets, too," he said. "yeah, so what the hell did we pay for?" "exactly. i should ask for my money back," he said. "yeah," meagan said, "you should get your money back." just then, an old asian woman handed us tickets. she had two of them to give away. "we only need one," we told her, and then we marched back to the gate. meagan was able to sneak our umbrellas past security for a third time.

a small victory over the fools who try to profit from things that should be free.

1 comment:

ms.meggie said...

i don't remember the red haired woman "calmly" telling me anything. she was at least indifferent; disdainful would be more accurate.