loose hipster bitches = the end of us.


i got a call from i.t. this morning. it was the main i.t. woman, who happens to be vietnamese (i think). i have a really difficult time understanding her, and she is probably well aware that she is hard to understand. for this reason, i try to solve all my own technological problems, but usually to no avail. today, i just needed a document converted into a pdf document, and she took care of this correctly, and right away. minutes later, though, she needed something from me. "access to jus..." "jim!" she always cuts me off, as though we shouldn't even bother answering the mainline with our department's title. "you know al alsdorf?" "yeah, bob alsdorf?" "yeah. he here. he need you to open door for ada office." "open the door?" "yes, he need you let him in." "oh, he needs to get in?" "yes, you let him in. okay?" "alright, i'll go ask rick..." "nevermind!" and with that, she hung up. i found it rude and unprofessional, but then again, what do i care? i'm blogging on the clock.

i suppose that i, too, would be upset all the time if i had to work on computers. they are, after all, the most important asset to any company, and definitely not the morons that use them. if email goes out, or the system shuts down, everyone would probably just go home. and that would suit me, and probably everyone else, just fine. if people really wanted anarchy, they'd learn how to dismantle our technology, as realistically shown in last year's summer blockbuster, live free or die hard.

i read an adbusters article (yeah, that makes me white - so what?) recently on how hipsterism marks the end of our civilization. the main case was that every generation had this group of rebels (i.e. situationists, hippies, etc.) that opposed the mainstream and the powers that be. these previous groups stood for something, were unified, and they had meaning. but our unlucky generation produced squat; instead of getting educated, politically-savvy, idealistic youth, we got hipsters. they exist for no reason other than an attempt to be fashionable: the big sunglasses, the trucker hats and messenger bags, the love of indie-electronica-folk music, the costly haircuts that try to convey the individual's false apathy. and the girls with the straight-cut bangs, their vintage skirts, their excess of plastic jewelry.

but really, what's the point of blaming any one group? everyone's at fault. you're to blame if you're poor. and if you're rich, you're to blame, too. but who could blame you? if i had money, i probably wouldn't want to part with it, either. so, of course you're going to vote for a politician who supports your interests, someone who will keep your money safe while you sleep at night. money, like technology, has become the only reason for our existence. we all like to pretend it's not, but it is.

this is the land of the free. come here, and make a lot of money. but don't make too much because then the poor people will resent you. don't make too little, either, because then the rich people will resent you. wherever you end up, though, especially don't end up in the middle because then you will end up resenting yourself. in the middle, you won't qualify for scholarships, or low-income assistance, tax breaks, welfare, health care, or anything else you might need. so, it's probably best to just be on top. when you're on top, you can live in a gated community and keep out any poor people who resent you. it's easier that way.

my cousin didn't know it at the time, but he presented an allegory of my entire existence in one small action. he called me up once, asking me to come to his house. when i showed up at the door, he looked extremely disappointed. "ahh, man!" he said, "what are you doing here?"

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