could result in death.


my dad tried to teach me stuff about cars when i first got my license. he did this so that i wouldn't end up stranded on the side of the road, not knowing how to change a tire. one of the things he showed me was how to restart the battery with jumper cables. i fumbled around trying to figure out how to get the hood up. i always have this problem with cars. any time i've needed to look at the engine, i somehow forget where to unlatch the lever. he showed me how to connect the red grip with the red bolt, the black grip with the black bolt. it was pretty idiot-proof. and then he said, "be careful. sometimes it blows up." "what? what do you mean 'blows up?'" "it blows up," he said. "it explodes."

yesterday, i took the earlier bus home. i did laundry, made a baked potato with sour cream and cheese, and then i watched the wire. i said to myself, "i need a motherfucking 7-up to choke this shit down." i went down to the small liquor store underneath my apartment. they sell ramen, sodas, and beer. it's a pretty sad looking shop. i grabbed a bottle of 7-up. "$1.60," the man said. i only had $1.15 in change, so i pulled out my debit card. "there a charge for debit?" i asked. "yes," he said. "forty cents." "forty cents?" i did the math in my head. $2.00 for a small bottle of 7-up? what was the world coming to? i asked how much for just a can. "sixty-nine cents," he said. "i'll just grab a can," i said. there were no 7-up cans, though. i choked my baked potato down with the inferior product, sprite.

i don't understand the extra charge when using a debit card. it's always something ridiculous, and it always happens at gas stations and liquor stores. they never tell you, either. it'll just show up on your bank statement. an extra forty cents so you just paid the full dollar or whatever for a goddamn crunch bar. i don't know why this has started happening, but it has. i remember the first time someone told me, "there a twenty-five cent charge for debit." "well, just run it as credit then," i answered. it's the same fucking thing. i obviously have a major credit card label on my debit/credit card, so just do whatever saves me the fee.

i've had this cold for about a week now, and it sucks. i keep spitting green shit into the trash can. i'm sure my co-workers appreciate it a lot. today, i decided i needed to get away from the computer, so i went to the library to listen to last monday's "this american life." it was halloween stories, and it was pretty good. i saw that the writing center was now on the second floor, but i didn't go in. i would've gone in, to see what fools had been hired for this academic year, but i didn't. "just poking my head in," i would've said. "i used to work here. although it wasn't here. it was in the engineering building then." the consultant would nod and half-smile. i can't have that. i can't. i'm not one of those guys.

it's friday and people are working. students sit outside and type type type on their laptops. in the office, people type type type on their desktops. people make calls and the clouds drift by overhead. this is insufferable, i say. this is wonderful, i say. i could be scrubbing toilets, serving coffee. i could be here at my desk, pouring myself out to anyone who will listen via blog. is it better? is it worse? the optometrist doesn't know it, but sometimes both one and two look equally blurry.

1 comment:

EasilyEntertained said...

You get charged extra because the store has to pay a fee every time you use a card.