dear alex n.


dear alex,

i wonder if you are as bored as i am right now. i wonder if you are slowly decaying in an office somewhere in california. i hope you didn't screw up, and that you are actually doing what you like to do. i wonder if you ever went to pepperdine. you were always wearing that stupid pepperdine sweatshirt at basketball games. i don't know why you were so into pepperdine.

you were tall and you got even taller. how'd that work out for you? we used to call you "nipples" because it rhymed with your last name. then, someone started a rumor that you had a third nipple, or maybe it was just a mole, but either way, it earned you the nickname "triple nipple." sometimes people got lazy and it was just "nips," or "trips." it probably would've gotten old. it got old, didn't it.

we were in cub scouts together and then later, boy scouts. remember that shit? what a waste of afternoons. i mean, i don't think it would've been a total loss if we had kept in touch because then there would have been a reason for our parents to try and get us to socialize, right? i think about this a lot. how much time we've wasted, or more accurately, how much time our parents and teachers wasted, trying to get us (well, not specifically you and me, but you, me, and the others) to socialize, and how their efforts completely failed now that we don't even speak.

let's face it. i don't know what you do, and you don't know what i do. sometimes my mom gives me updates. a few years ago, she said that she ran into your mom at the grocery store and your mom said that you were now going to school somwhere and studying something or other. how'd that work out? you now have a b.a. or an a.a., or maybe an m.a., but really, it's all just b.s., isn't it? maybe you followed your dad and got your social work degree. it's a lot of work and little pay, but the work satisfies, so they say.

i saw your facebook photos a few years ago. you posed as napoleon dynamite, or maybe it was screech. those characters did remind me of you. not that you were a total dork or spazz or anything. just that you were tall, lanky, and had curly hair. nothing else. i don't think i remember a single conversation we've ever actually had. but we must've talked about something. i must've said something that got me invited to all your birthday parties, where you or your parents always made us watch some stupid ernest movie. ernest goes to camp, ernest goes to jail. why didn't ernest just go to hell already.

i remember once a bunch of guys, i think lucas and paul, stayed up all night playing mortal kombat. i went to bed around two, and i thought that was late. earlier in the night, we played nerf guns and talked about girls. you brought out nirvana's nevermind, and you pointed at the boy's penis on the cover. you were laughing at it. paul told you to shut up. "shut up, nips. bet you don't even know what that is." paul was always such an asshole. but he meant well.

i remember when you puked at the christmas pageant in second grade. you got half our class sick. i had the stomach flu for a week. all i could do was drink 7up, which wasn't so bad, but i didn't like the vomiting. it was the first time i vomited uncontrollably. you didn't know it then, but you've impacted me in a deep and significant way. when i could finally eat again, and actually hold something down, i had my dad buy me my favorite meal: a burrito supreme from taco bell. surprisingly, i didn't puke again.

i wonder what you do now. i wonder if it's something to do with computers. maybe you got into real estate. it's a bad time for that, you know. i wonder what your older sister is doing. married, probably. with kids running through the backyard, picking up stones and grabbing fistfuls of dirt and grass.

just the way we did when we were their age.

1 comment:

Meagan said...

Ah, ba ba ba ba barbara ann!