five things you're good at.


i was filling out a self-evaluation form, and it asked me to list five things i'm good at. i racked my brain, but couldn't quite think of anything. i thought i was good at remembering episodes of saved by the bell and replaying them in my head to pass the time. i was also good at playing that racehorse game at circus circus. these were the few skills and talents i could think of. i could play guitar, but i wouldn't say i was "good" at it. besides, they might make me play. writing, i guess, but then i wouldn't have any proof except for my blog, and i didn't feel like putting that in the spotlight.

what am i good at? what's anyone good at? there are generic things one could list, like being a "good listener," or a "thoughtful person." but i'd like real skills and i don't know why. i blame die hard for this. who didn't want the skills john mcclane had? i want presence of mind, to know that should the time ever come that i'd have to tie a firehose around my waist, jump off an exploding rooftop and kick through a glass window to reach safety, i could. sure, it's all just imaginary hollywood stunts, but i believe that someone with the proper skills and training could pull it off.

i'd even like to do simpler things like make soap or put a storage shelf together. only problem is, i don't have any know-how. i can't do any hands-on work that would produce any real, tangible results. this is where my beef with ready made and other d.i.y. magazines and books comes into play. they make it look so easy, like one could just find a bunch of two-liter coke bottles and turn them into a majestic palace. they make people believe that they could turn old telephone wires into a trampoline. funny how i've become so cynical that stunts in an 80's action flick are more attainable than anything a d.i.y. magazine has to offer.

their intentions are good, though. they want people to not be so wasteful. they want people to empower themselves by learning how to "fix shit up," and recycle, reduce, reuse. they provide advertising for "green" companies who sell "organic" products. all of it just feels kind of ridiculous to me, though. mostly because everyone in those types of magazines are young, fashionable hipsters with fancy apartments in brooklyn, and they have wonderful jobs as "creative designers." i suppose these people exist, but i've yet to meet one. i just don't know. it all seems like phony baloney bullshit to me. how do so many people in their 20's live such fabulous lives? everyone my age is poor and miserable as shit. even if we are recycling.

i did something wrong, i guess. i didn't work hard enough to achieve the american dream. i'm still not working hard enough.

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