i know we're cool.


i crossed paths with this hipster chick by the chapel, and she kind of gave me this look. i'd like to know what she was thinking. there are so many girls in this city that look exactly like her. they've got big earrings, black hair with straight cut bangs that try to say, look, i don't care about how i look, but really, they do care about how they look. she had one of those floral-print dresses that looks like it's vintage, but it's really not vintage, and it's supposed to be cool that it's retro but new. another girl who looked like this girl was a girl who used to work in the mailroom. this girl was stupid because she was outraged that her friend didn't know about judas priest, but when the friend asked her to name a judas priest song, she couldn't do it. breakin' the law, stupid. breakin' the law.

i was walking past the chapel so that i could donate some shit to the thrift store. i used to work at the thrift store, and i always hated it when people would donate random, useless shit. so, of course, that's all i do now. i gave them my broken sunglasses, a flashlight that may or may not work, pants that were too tight to begin with, and some office decorations. i don't know what they will do with it, and i don't really care. it's fun to just get rid of things. there's relief in that.

i passed two women on the street, right in front of the ballet restaurant, where i once interviewed a guy for an interview i was supposed to write up for the hugo house and never did. one woman smelled like fruit loops. i thought about how i was going to write up that interview - it was some doctor who wrote poetry - and i never did. i don't know why i didn't. lazy, probably. but maybe after graduation, i was just sick of having people tell me what to write. thus, this. i'm going to write about a bunch of nonsense, but so long as nobody but myself is telling me to do it, i can be happy doing it.

outside of ballet, there was this kid, probably in his twenties, and he was smoking a cigarette. he was wearing one of those big green jackets that has a small german flag on the sleeve. i've seen that jacket before. i don't understand what it means. is it some sort of secret nazi thing? it's too bad that germany is always associated with nazism, especially when our country has done so much more damage.

i've been reading susan sontag's reborn, and it's amazing. sometimes it's just notes. she'll write something like "box = vagina." and "to have a box = eat a woman." and, "honey, when are you gonna let me have some of that box?" susan sontag was a lesbian, and she went to uc berkeley when she was just 16. already at 16, she knew that college was stupid, and that she was wasting her time studying and writing about obscure topics in the world of literature and academia. i'm a little bit in love with a dead lesbian now.

how terrible would it be to be an academic, though? i think it would really suck. after your students are done with you, they only come back for one thing: a letter of recommendation. the whole time, even if they're arranging coffee dates with a professor, that's always in the back of their minds. "at what point can i bring up the letter of recommendation?" not on the first coffee date, surely. it's all just a pretend relationship until the ex-student thinks he's put in enough time, played e-mail tag long enough to ask.

at qfc, that gwen stefani song, "i know we're cool" was playing. there was this woman with a shopping cart and her two kids blocking the aisle. three balloons were attached to her cart. she apologized for blocking the aisle. people in this city are always apologizing for things they have no control over.

i met this woman in the philippines, a friend of my cousin's, and she is currently living in a hotel in manila with her two kids. i asked if her kids liked it better there or in the states. "they still love wisconsin," she said. i asked why. she told me that her kids didn't like it in the philippines when people would bump them and not say, "excuse me," or when her kids would see people spitting in the street. "i don't want to make it sound like they're snobs," she said, "because they aren't."

we snobby, apologetic americans.

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