a woman i work with sometimes has me find/do really random things. a few days ago, she had pictures of an eggplant being cut up, and she wanted me to make a powerpoint presentation of it. sometimes, she will give me just a name like jack hammond (and sometimes the name isn't even correct - in this case, it was jack hamann), and ask me to find some article he wrote. sometimes she will hear a phrase on npr and ask me to find the article/podcast. all these tasks are pretty simple, as it's just a matter of googling them.

today, she wanted me to look up the word "regnant," but in an old english dictionary, as the word has become outdated. she summed up the word for me, though. it means something along the lines of: "returning the sovereign power to the people." basically, it means "power to the people," and so it's no wonder nobody says, "regnant" anymore.

word on the street is that i gotta stay at my gig for at least another year and a half. i've gotta show loyalty to the job. that's all i am, right? my resume. just a couple of dates and words on a page, and i'm even too apathetic to get the nice, ivory kind. and then later, all of this is just one long line between two dates. 1983 - ?

i actually wondered, and this is probably terrible, if my savings was enough to have me live in a slum for the rest of my life. what do the adults do all day, while the children are out begging? there's no tv or internet or anything like that. maybe they just stare at walls. they figure out how to survive. and over here, college graduates serve coffee. i saw this girl, stephanie, working at caffe vita in seward park. maybe she likes serving coffee. maybe she got laid off something "lucrative," and now she's extremely bitter.

talking about 9/11 in a theology class once, someone brought up this whole idea of turning the other cheek. "what are we supposed to do?" this student said, the tension and frustration evident in her tone. "are we just supposed to take it and not fight back?" the professor didn't exactly say it, but his response was something along the lines of, "well, yes. maybe you should consider lying down and dying. pretty much everyone else has to."

the starbucks girls were serving coffee; the asian clerk rang up my groceries. the old white woman with cropped, curly hair was weed-whacking the edges. it's a constant effort to attract more students to attend this school. make a nice garden, and they'll come by the bucketloads, ready to pour money down your greedy jesuit throat. i almost laughed aloud again by the sheer silliness of it all. was there a difference between trimming the edges and hoping/praying that the formula really holds true, that hard work + perseverance really does, in fact, = happiness and prosperity?

we're all just dancing on the line - aren't we?

1 comment:

jackhamann said...

and, so ...
what was the article by Jack Hamann?