am i a mind reader?

i went running at seward park. just one lap around the park, it was all i needed. i listened to jay-z. i like how arrogant he is. if i had money, or if i was famous, or if i could rap, i would be arrogant, too. i have none of those things, so i am humble for the most part. i am just a broke ass filipino who is on gchat all day, everyday. when i run, i like to pass up people who are walking, as though i am trying to make them feel bad for not getting their heart rates up. walking ain't gonna do shit. some people think it will, but it won't. you need to get that heart rate up and sweat out all your toxins.

i saw this mexican lady pushing two babies in a dual stroller. i saw a mother helping her kid on a swing. sometimes, i think that i would like a family. other times, i think i would be a terrible parent. today, i thought about the stranger. maybe because it was so hot out. i thought about the sun glinting off his gun, him pulling the trigger, each rap a knock on the door of his undoing. camus, what a writer. he didn't fuck around. he didn't post whiny ass blog entries, or write random shit no one cared to read. motherfucker threw down. he was like, i'm gonna write a novel about the meaningless of life, and here it is. life is meaningless, fuckers. and then he died in a car crash to prove his point.

i am supposed to schedule a deep cleaning with my dentist. i am supposed to schedule a meeting with my old writing professor. i put these things off, and i'm not sure why. i don't think i would have much to say to my professor. he would ask me how i like my job, how things are going. i would lie to his face. i couldn't just be honest with him because there are rules in society. sometimes, i just want to be one of those people who doesn't think before he speaks. i think that i will wear big sunglasses and polo shirts and pretend that i am somebody else.

maybe that'll work.

1 comment:

H. Case said...

Hey-- I went running at Seward Park yesterday, too!