you look like roger moore.


some drunk fool was talking to himself at the back of the bus yesterday. the bus driver said, "to the gentleman at the back of the bus, please use your soft voice. thank you." the drunk fool kept talking to himself. he was speaking gibberish, and the people around him, myself included, chose to ignore him. at some point, the asian guy sitting next to him put his hand on his shoulder. "what will you be eating tonight?" he asked the drunk fool. "steak? chicken?" i couldn't make out the drunkard's reply. the asian guy couldn't, either.

"you look like roger moore," the asian guy said to the drunkard. the drunkard babbled something incoherent, and then said something about how he was an american. "what're you? you're like asian or something. some kind of asian?" the asian guy nodded and laughed, trying to be friendly. he did his best to keep things cool. no one knew what the incoherent drunk fool was capable of. thankfully, the drunkard and the asian deboarded at jackson street. the drunkard was really out of it, and he almost fell over a few times. "easy," the asian said, putting his hand on the drunkard's back.

there was a black guy with dreads who looked like ice-t. ice-t sat down where the drunk fool had been sitting. "i had to get away from there," ice-t said. "i was looking at you, thinking he be talking to you, but i saw that you all were just ignoring him, so i said i'm gonna ignore him, too." he was talking to two black women now. one of the black women said, "yeah, i was afraid i was gonna start bustin' up. i saw a smirk on her face, and i was about to start laughin'!" "that guy was messed up," the other black woman said, "he needed some help real bad." ice-t started talking about jesus and the story about casting the first stone, and then something about prostitutes in the bible.

all the while, i just kept reading unaccustomed earth. why can't we all just be characters in a jhumpa lahiri story?

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