blinking green lights.


i'm in the library using the free seattle public library internet. it's just like last year when i was unemployed and didn't have an apartment yet. i'm using the library's internet now because i canceled my clearwire account. i canceled clearwire because clearwire sucks. their service was awful, and it was slow as shit. i've had dial-up that worked faster than clearwire. thankfully, my friend jacob tripped over my clearwire cable (yeah, the wire's not so clear, huh), and his little mishap destroyed my modem for good. the green lights just kept blinking.

i called clearwire about the blinking green lights. the service rep was unhelpful. he said it's either two things. it's either my computer, or it's the wire. i said it probably wasn't my computer. he said it's probably the wire then. he ran some tests and nothing worked. he suggested that i get a new wire. i asked if he could send me one. he said he couldn't. he said to try best buy or radio shack. radio shack is closer to me, so i tried radio shack.

i went into radio shack. they were listening to michael jackson music because he had just died two days before. i asked the clerk if he had any ethernet cables for sale. he asked how long did i need them? i said, i don't know, like ten feet? he said, all we have is five or twenty feet. i said i'd better go with the twenty feet. i bought it, and it cost $16 and something cents. i asked how long their return policy was. he said, twenty-four hours. i said, what? he said, just kidding. ha ha. thirty days. i said, cool, and then i left.

i tried the wire. it didn't work. i biked back to radio shack to return the wire. an asian girl did the return for me. i thought maybe she was the manager because she was better dressed and seemed more professional. but that could've just been because she was an asian girl. the guy who had helped me earlier said, didn't work, huh? i said, no, and that it was probably my modem's fault. the asian girl asked me if i wanted my refund in cash or just put it back on the card. i said the card would be fine. she said, nobody ever carries cash anymore! i agreed. she said, everywhere i go, it's all debit or credit. i said, yeah.

i called clearwire to cancel on their asses and send them back the modem my friend broke by accident. of course i didn't say my friend broke their modem. first, i asked if they could just send me a replacement modem. they said they could, but it would cost me $60 for a replacement. i told them no thanks. they said ok. i said i would just like to pay up the remainder of my one-year contract and be done with them. they said i'd have to call back tomorrow.

the following day, i called them back. i lied and told them i was moving back to california, to an undisclosed location. they told me that clearwire was available in some cities in california. i told them that i didn't know where i was going. they said ok. they said i could get a $50 gift card if i could get one of my friends to sign up for clearwire, and did i know anybody? i said i didn't know anybody. they said ok. they said they would charge my debit card $70 for the remaining two months on my one-year contract and that they would send me a shipping label to send them my modem. i was surprised they didn't make me pay for my own shipping.

i tweeted that i was finally done with clearwire and that i had canceled my account. someone tweeted back: you will not regret that decision.

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