she's trying to sell us a vacuum cleaner.


my mom was watching one of those shows on tlc, something like my first home or one of those things. "come watch," she said, "it's san francisco!" i sat my ass down and watched some of it. the girl looking was unmarried, in her late twenties, or early thirties. her hunt had come down to three different condos, all located in the city. she was dissatisfied with number one because it was not spacious enough. "what!" i said, "the living room of that place is bigger than my whole apartment!" the second place was equally unsatisfactory because it wasn't in "the hip" part of san francisco. the third place was perfect, but too expensive.

"i think this is crap," i told my mom. "i think this is just condo advertising. these people can't possibly be real." "yeah," my mom said, "i guess they must be doctors or lawyers who can afford these places." "but even then," i argued, "at their age, even if they are professionals, they'd still be deep in debt." she agreed. "i've been working for thirty years," she said, "and i still wouldn't be able to afford one of those places." goddamn tlc. i think they're full of shit. they're trying to sell us a vacuum cleaner.

i was flipping through some ready made magazines last night, looking at all the beautiful twenty-something artists and graphic designers with their perfect apartments located in prime, desirable coastal cities. the magazine is hilarious in that it preaches sustainability and recycling and all that shit, and then it shows article after article of some fabulous-ass fools living in their mansions that pass as apartments and condos. everything's so perfect, so crisp and clean and "vintage." and then they advertise couches that sell for $3,785.

who's still buying this fantasy, anyway?

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