you're missing out.

yesterday, my boss gave me my performance evaluation. i got a 3.5 out of 5. she told me that i needed to take more initiative and use my creativity. i told her i didn't know what that meant exactly, and that i was used to working for organizations that had a lot of bureaucracy. she admitted that there was bureaucracy here, too, but that one of the reasons they hired me was because i was a writing major. i wanted to tell her that a degree in creative writing didn't really mean much, but then i would've just sounded like an asshole. so i kept that to myself.

creativity and initiative. if i had either, i would probably be doing something else. what i should've said was, one of the main reasons i accepted this job offer was because i thought it wouldn't require any creativity or initiative. really, the "assistant" part of my title is what interested me. i think that there is this expectation that i should be really invested in what we're doing, and that i should contribute my ideas and feedback to all our programs and events. but i view all of this like a doomed relationship. i know i'll be leaving, so what's the point of trying to "woo" anyone?

i was reading up on the topic of "boomerang generation" on wikipedia earlier today. there was something about how boomerang kids are missing out on job experience and stuff. that's what one of my friends said to me over the phone when i wasn't working. she said, "i'm just afraid you're missing out on experience." what experience was i missing out on when i was being a bum, sleeping in, and waking up only to watch on demand cable? the experience of riding the bus. the experience of making 100 copies, double-sided, full color, and on plain white paper. happy hour and networking and button-down t-shirts.

i'll know what to expect next time.

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