shallow and empty and no ideas
and nothing interesting to say.


they were at some restaurant that they would always go to. he looked around at all the other couples, and he was certain theirs was different, that they were somehow unique. the conversation turned to some girl they both knew, who had recently broken up with a guy she had only been seeing for two weeks. "i don't get it," she said, about the girl, "what's the point of being with someone that briefly?" she spoke from experience, as the two of them had been going on for about three and a half years by then.

they split a salad, split the entree because they didn't have much money. they were just students trying to get a taste of what adulthood was all about. the napkins were bright white and the utensils shiny silver. he thought about a scene from annie hall, where alvy asks a seemingly happy couple how they account for their happiness. the woman says she's shallow, empty, has no ideas and nothing interesting to say, while the male says he is the same way.

but this was different, and his story was unique, or so he believed. they weren't very happy. they'd argue about stupid things, and it always seemed to be his fault. they'd get into arguments, and part of her defense was just not saying anything. the dreaded silent treatment. at those times, he'd say, "just say something. say anything!" and she would just shake her head because she was so frustrated and disappointed, or else she might say, "i have nothing to say. there's nothing to say." and it was times like those where he'd think they weren't so different. maybe the two of them were just shallow and empty and had no ideas and nothing interesting to say.

and then some real shit would go down, and it'd get too hot for him, so he'd just leave. he'd drive somewhere by himself and listen to the radio. what was it all about anyway? there was that blog written by that girl who had lost her mother to cancer, and she wrote something like, "your mother is the only person in the world who will ever truly love you. and when she's gone, no one else ever will." and that line was tragic and awful, but it was there. it confronted him.

it challenged everything.

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