much too fast.


i went to pick up my checks from chase bank. nothing exciting happened. the clerk asked for my i.d., and i gave it to her, and then i got my checks.

i walked past the taqueria place or whatever it is, and the question of god came to me. did i believe in god or not? i looked in the window, and some fools were eating. sure, why not. the more important question now was: did he have enough sense to believe in me?

i invited the girls at work to come out for drinks tomorrow night. i want them to be my friends so that i'll feel more like a grown up who knows people. people who are fun and lively and outgoing and not me. that's why i did that.

i packed my suitcase for manila. t-shirts, dress shirts, jeans, socks, all of it dirty. i told my pamangkins on facebook that i was going to be there next week. i said i couldn't believe it's been a year already. jam agreed. she said, "sobrang bilis," meaning, "much too fast."

2009 was fast. so fast it's almost frightening to think about. i don't even know what happened. michael jackson died. there was that thing about the balloon boy. i finally asked a girl for her number. my friend jaspreet got married. i went and saw movies with my friends. and that was about it. that was a whole year.

it used to be slower. but even that year when i was unemployed, when i didn't do a damn thing all day everyday, even that went kind of fast. much too fast. i just want to be able to stop at some point and appreciate all of this. everything.

sobrang bilis is right.

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