is that a calculator watch?

only two beers in, and i was feeling it. i didn't know what it was, exactly, only that i didn't like it. i had agreed to attend an after-work happy hour, and so there i was, chugging a beer i had never heard of, something that was supposed to be fat tire, but wasn't, since they didn't have it (what seattle bar doesn't have fat tire?). and i was sitting there with two young women from work - 29 and 24 - and the two of them were talking about how her nephew was obsessed with cowboys, talking about slip and slides, talking about what vegas was like. i didn't have anything to say on the subjects, so i drank.

and all i could think about was, why have i chosen this? why didn't i choose, instead, to be in a country where people had brown skin like me? why didn't i choose family first? i could've been at a bar with my cousins or nieces and nephews, and i could've gotten to know about them, about our family history. how many affairs did uncle bobby have? why was cesanne's mother in prison? what was it like living under martial law? though i had a whole month to ask these questions, i didn't.

and so there i was, at a seattle bar where i was the only minority with two happy-go-lucky gals who liked flailing their arms about and talking loudly over the stale indie music blowing all around us. i had my shirt tucked in, and i felt like an i.t. nerd. they didn't ask me about my trip, but they were disappointed that i hadn't yet posted enough pictures of it on facebook. the only new thing about me, the only thing i had to contribute to the conversation was my new phone. "you're so fancy with your new phone," they said.

we moved next door to fish fry because they were serving unlimited fries and $2 beers. though i ordered 2 beers and my order came out to $8. i didn't question it. i just went along with it. we stood at the end of this one table, and these two guys struck up a conversation with the girls. and let me tell you, when you are out with two girls on a friday night, and some random guy who has their skin color starts talking to them, it's emasculating. even if i'm not trying to score with either one of said girls (especially since one is a lesbian).

but the two guys matched the two girls' enthusiasm. everyone was talking like they were on speedballs or whatever kind of drug makes people really hyper. it was a real a.d.d. fest, and they were talking about beards, calculator watches ("is that a calculator watch?" "it is." "congratulations." "hahaha."), more vegas, cell phones, etc. the guy who was standing next to me had salami breath. he told me he had never sent a text message in his life.

we moved onto another bar, and once there, i made up an excuse as to why i had to leave early. i was in bed by ten.

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